Enough is Not Enough

enough

The word “enough” has been a common theme throughout my spiritual journey. Barlowgirl’s song “Enough” was my lifesong throughout those dreaded middle school years. The first time I ever shared my testimony in church was right after a group of girls in our youth group sang it during a youth-led service. The song boldly declares, “All of You is more than enough for all of me. For every thirst and every need, You satisfy me with Your love. And all I have in You is more than enough.” As a young teenager struggling through the pain of loneliness, this song provided me with an anchor of hope. God was enough to satisfy every longing in my heart. But fast forward 11 years later, and I distinctly remember one night in particular when I found myself sitting all alone in my bedroom floor as a grown adult – crying out to God with that same brokenhearted loneliness I had felt so many years ago. And I was still praying the same prayer, “God, You’re enough. You’re enough for me.” And I desperately wanted to live like I believed it. But even though I knew the words were true, I still couldn’t deny the deep aching void that I still felt all these years later. This time the song I had playing in the background as I cried out to God was not Barlowgirl, but a worship song from Elevation. The words of the song declared, “I know the night won’t last. Your Word will come to pass. My heart will sing Your praise again. Jesus, You’re still enough.” And though I had cried out in worship to God countless times before through this song, on this particular night the words didn’t sit right with me. It wasn’t any fault with the song; it was simply the status of my heart in that moment.

In that moment, I started to question what it really means when I tell God that He’s “enough” for me. I started to question if that’s really what God wanted to hear from me in my worship. Did it bring His heart joy to hear that He was “enough” for me? How would I feel if someone told me I was good enough, pretty enough, or smart enough? How would I feel if on my wedding day the man I was marrying looked into my eyes and said, “My heart is heavy with so many other desires, but you’re enough for me.” It doesn’t seem like the best way to declare your love to someone. If we’re honest with ourselves, we don’t want to be “enough” for the person we love – we want to be their only desire. We want to be the object of their affection and the center of their attention.

When we declare to God that He is enough, it gives the impression that His love barely scratches the surface of what we really want and desire. This realization pierced my heart. It hurt to think that my well-intentioned words were not coming from a true place of worship. I began to realize that these continuous declarations to God that He was enough usually tended to lead me more to a place of self-centered pity rather than Christ-centered worship. By focusing my thoughts on God being “enough” the object of my worship was more on my unmet desires and unfulfilled expectations, rather than on the all-sufficient goodness of God.

When God created us from the dirt of this earth and breathed His life into our bodies, He did not step back from His work, wipe the dust off His hands and say, “That’s good… enough.” No, Instead He said, “That’s good…. That’s very good.” So why isn’t our worship more reflective of the same love and awe our Savior demonstrates towards us? How can our response to His love, which is full of grace and mercy and compasion, be anything less than “You’re good. You’re very good.”

“Enough” is not enough when it comes to our worship. The word is simply unnecessary. Even “more than enough” does not do justice to the worship our God is worthy to receive. Our worship could start and end with “God, You Are” and it would be more representative of the worship He deserves. Afterall, He is the I Am.

We need to change our perspective and shift our focus. If all I ever think about is emptiness, all I will ever feel is emptiness. The more I think about my unmet desires, the more my unmet desires consume me. But when I think about the fullness of God, I am filled. When I think about all that God is, I have all that I need. My worship should always point upward, and never inward. There is a time for inward reflection and lamenting before God, but it is not to be confused with worship.

God, You Are.

You are the Great I Am.

You are Good.

You are Faithful.

You are Truth.

You are Life.

You are Light.

You are Love.

You are Peace,

You are Friend.

You are Counselor.

You are Father.

You are With Us.

This is my worship. This is why I love You. This is why You are worthy to be praised. It’s not because of anything You’ve done, but it’s about everything You are.

One thought on “Enough is Not Enough

  1. Amy says:

    So beautifully written Karis – Thank you for sharing your heart and your words with us. You are more than enough – keep praising Him and giving Him the glory. He will give you your hearts desire in His time.

    Like

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